I have to admit, I don’t love getting on group calls first because it’s the same filler topics on repeat… what did you do last weekend, my thoughts on the weather (LITERALLY the worst), my background (circa 2021).
But, silence would be weird. Definitely do not suggest that awkward wait.
Let’s rethink this time and turn it into an opportunity to turn “small talk” into strategic relationship building, without ever talking about the weather again.
Here are some light pre-meeting chat starters to try next:
1. “What is something good that has happened to you this week so far?”
Open, positive, and doesn’t force people to share anything too personal.
Lets people share wins, moments, or even small joys.
2. “What is something you are working on right now that you are excited about?”
Helps you understand priorities and passions.
Professional but not stiff.
3. “Tried anything new recently? Could be a tool, a restaurant, a show, a habit.”
Low pressure, wide-open, and always interesting.
People love recommending things.
4. “What is keeping you energized these days?”
Invites people to share routines, activities, or things that matter to them.
Since I am a runner, this gives others space to talk about their own grounding rituals (your thing).
5. “What is something you are looking forward to in the next few days?”
Future-oriented, positive, and lighter than the weekend question.
6. “Curious — what is a trend in your world that is catching your attention?”
A bigger conversation starter that isn’t heavy.
Works especially well with partners and clients.
7. “Anything surprising pop up for you this week? Big or small.”
Broad and unexpected, leads to great stories.
8. Even better, ask about something specific that you know happened recently (e.g., tell me about your trip to XX, what happened in Chicago after the Bears game, how was your daughter’s dance recital?)
Personal and shows you have been listening.
Small talk is one of the most undervalued leadership tools we have. When done well, it shows confidence, presence, curiosity, and emotional intelligence... the things ambitious women are so often already bringing to the table, but not always showcasing out loud.
If you want to put this into practice, try this the next time you are the first one on a call:
Pick one question from this list above and lead with it.
This simple shift opens the door to a deeper connection, and people experience you as:
Someone who elevates the conversation.
Someone who brings energy instead of draining it.
Someone who leads in a subtle but powerful way.
