“I can charge more because I’m older.”
"You're too young to get that reference.”
Everyone seems obsessed with how old I am, as if a number explains my drive, my grit, or my capability to lead.
People assume we don’t share the same experiences because our birthdays fall in different years.
Even when our kids are the same age (or in many instances, mine are older).
Even when I have lived more life by accident than some people do by design.
Celebrating another year of growth and learning with my boys.
What they don’t know, and what they would know if they ever stopped measuring and started listening, is this:
I am one of four. The oldest daughter. I had two parents who needed me to help raise my siblings. I woke myself up every day for school. I drove myself to college. I studied abroad without talking to my family.
I got my own jobs. I paid my own way in New York City, which included spending $30/week on groceries and walking the 1 mile to work everyday to save on public transportation.
I built my own career early because I had to. No strong alumni network. No established connections, or parent friends helping me.
I had my first child at 25—and I was not okay. I was alone. I was scared. No one truly checked in on me. My friends and siblings were in an entirely different life stage. My mom wasn’t ready to be a grandmother.
Fast forward to years 26-33 where I supported a public company acquisition. I helped lead an organization through 85% growth, quadrupling its size. I wrote over 2,000 business pitches. I traveled the country for clients and partnerships. I implemented a corporate parental leave change.
All my beautiful experiences (and they are beautiful) accelerated my life. They shaped my resilience. They gave me judgment, discernment, and perspective far earlier than planned.
That’s what made me (I guess!) “older.” Not the number. The experience. I put in the work. The hustle. The focus.
While others were watching who was ahead, I was building. While others were counting years, I was counting outcomes.
An experience of a lifetime getting to be part of an Omnicom conversation with Malala Yousafzai as part of her “Finding My Way” book tour. Evidence that age is just a number.
So to the woman at the kids school last weekend who unsolicited said she can charge more because she’s older…
Please remember this: I am not behind you. I am not beneath you. I am not in competition. I am your peer and fellow female entrepreneur. And we rise higher when we stop swirling on age and start respecting experience.
If you are an ambitious career mom wondering how to apply this in real life, here is what actually helps:
Define success for now, not based on forever. Not based on what is Instagram-worthy. Just what “enough” looks like right now.
Choose depth over visibility. Skill-building, relationships, and credibility compound—even when no one’s clapping yet.
Stop borrowing pressure. Other people’s timelines, expectations, and judgments are not your responsibility to carry.
Audit who gets access to you. Not every comment deserves your energy.
Lastly, Kate, a note to self, keep doing the work and trust the process. Let experience speak louder than numbers ever could. And 36 is looking really good.
College friends still getting married…plus my two boys of course!
